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Tag: random thoughts

8-30-26

#blog #journal

Much has transpired in my life in the last month or two. I faced some rather unpleasant events. I made some moves that I have been working toward for a good year that improve my day-to-day. I started back at the J-O-B, which is predictable but a significant sponge of time and effort.

I have been and still am considering allowing this blog and page to disappear. The last couple months I’ve not had any real interest in it and haven’t seen the point of continuing it. But today as I disabled the auto renew settings on my Network Solutions hosting account, I am having second thoughts.

The auto renew for my SSL security certificate hit me quite unexpectedly last month and was an unhappy challenge. If I had realized before time, I probably would have let it lapsed. It was an unwelcome expense at a time when I can ill afford such complications. On the bright side it is good for two more years, so I have some time to reset and rebuild before I decide to pull the plug from my little project here.

The big things that threw me off recently include my air conditioner giving up. I noticed on after waking up on June 28th the air was no longer blowing. I noticed when things started heating up mid morning. Because I’m kinda handy and moreover broke as hell I did some research, mostly on YouTube, to determine what the problem may be and how to fix it. I narrowed down the problem to the blower motor. I went into my attic and sweated profusely while attempting to examine and determine how to fix the problem myself.

I thought I could fix the broken HVAC unit for a few hundred dollars, so I proceeded to remove the old blower/motor. I managed to get it out of the unit physically, but ran into trouble wit the wiring and circuit card removal. I decided then I needed a new unit anyway.

My old HVAC unit was never good. I had it inspected several months prior to its failure because I believed it had problems. The inspector all but laughed at how poorly the old system was installed. It was a heat pump not an air conditioner like I thought originally. I thought it was an air conditioner because the heater part of it was apparently never installed. From the time I bought the house only the emergency heat strip would work with the system, so I relied on space heaters, specifically Dr Heater infrared heaters, two, which worked enough for my needs. So I never really had good central heat during the four or five winters I’ve spent here, which has always been a disappointment to say the least, but never justified to me replaced the whole defective unit.

Now that the whole thing had stopped working, especially in late June, the loss of cooling totally justified going into more debt. So I researched and ended up working with a company that I was comfortable with. After my meeting and decision to proceed the company had a new HVAC unit and team out the next day and it was installed before 5pm rolled around. I’ve been cool and happy never since. Yeah it’s another 10k in debt but thats what American’s do when the times get rough.

The HVAC problem was just the first of the rather major incidents that have plagued me the last couple months. I don’t feel like writing anymore today. I may write a bit about the other incidents, who knows. Perhaps when the ancient historians are examining my significant and complex life that information would be valuable to them, lol. For now I will simply say that the other things that vexed me recently are, my water heater in my attic ruptured and leaked. It was a slow leak at least, but damaged two rooms significantly. Which leads to the restoration company that demolished those rooms and set up intrusive drying equipment for a week and a half. Then a renovation company came and rebuilt it all over another week and a half. thus disrupting my peace and tranquility in my dwelling as well as my finances.

I feel less bad about not blogging now that I think about it.

August 30, 2026
6-8-26

It’s been quite a long time since I’ve posted anything. All of you clamoring for my return will be happy at last.

It’s officially summer, and school is out. Well, the regular school program is out; the summer school program is just starting. I am driving summer school again this year. I’ve driven summer school every year since I started this job excepting one. It’s strange for me to say, but that year I was off too long. I became restless and consumed with boredom. Granted I didn’t and really still don’t have the means to do any fancy vacations or much traveling at all. If I can swing it I hope to do a bit of light traveling in July, but circumstances will dictate that.

It’s Monday. When I wake up and drink my coffee I usually watch the ABC morning news show. I know, legacy media yuck, blah, blah, blah. And I tend to agree with that negative view of media in general, but I seriously doubt that journalists will out-right lie. Lies by omission, they’d do that all day long, but a bald faced lie, thankfully it hasn’t go that bad, yet…

Anyway, what I saw on the news this morning, the thing I’m thinking about now, was more or less the same exact thing I’ve seen every Monday for the past two months, war. Yes the war that started last month that I mentioned in my last blog post. It’s not really a war by the way, even though everyone including the President of the USA call it a war, but that’s only when he’s talking unofficially about it. Officially it is an action or something like that. Double speak bull sticks! Anyway, we won that action/war the first three days of of the action/war, at least that is what the President of the USA told us. But… and that’s a big butt… it really hasn’t ended yet. Just last night Israel and Iran shot missiles at each other directly for the first time since the cease fire that is supposed to be in effect. But don’t worry! The President of the USA says that we are days away from a good deal that will bring peace to the middle east and return the world to normal business. Heh, yeah, okay.

Every week it is the same thing. President reassures the world that peace is around the corner. More shooting and killing and bombing and whatnot take place to ruin the current optimism. Then on Friday that president goes on the verbal offensive, and offensive he is, and tells the world, “Well, we got that little mess under control and will work hard all weekend to find a solution.” The stock market rallies. The good people of the world leave work, go home, go swimming with their kids, or burn some hamburgers on the grill. Monday comes back around, and we are day’s away from a deal. Then Israel, or possibly our own glorious US war leaders, do something to muck it up. The cycle starts all over. Week after week. Month after month.

Our leaders are so dumb. What I see happening is that this cycle is going to continue on for more months. Mid term elections will come around. That is going to be line of demarcation.

I’d like to think both houses of congress will change leadership, but I doubt it will work out that way. I doubt it for several reasons, not the least of which is the current leadership have already proven to be unsupportive of the nation’s current standards and practices, to put it politely. Anyway, after the mid terms the ground invasion will start. It doesn’t really matter who controls congress at that point. The opposition party/Democrat party will be powerless to stop it. The current leadership/Republican party will have still have the President, and the President will do what he want’s regardless of what the people want. Of course it depends on which people you ask, as is always the case with war. The business people that stand to make a profit will be supportive of the war, and there are a lot of people who stand to profit from a new protracted, bloody, disgusting war. There will probably be more people, including the ones that will have to fight and die in the war, that don’t support the war. But the Republican party and MAGA’s have really got their ducks in a row this time. Business will win and poor people will die, as always. But we’ll remember them all fondly next Memorial day.

Okay, enough of that. I really haven’t done much in the way of photography lately. I have been doing some novice gardening type things that have been one of my creative outlets. I’ve also been reading more lately. In the last few weeks I’ve finished “Wuthering Heights”, and the “Great Gatsby.” Both of which were excellent. Im currently reading “The Children of Strife” by Adrian Tchaikovsky. It is the fourth in a series of Sci fi books that I’m very much enjoying. I’d highly recommend them. They are kinda weird and deep, but that’s how I like it.

With some of gardening experiments I attempted to start some seeds in my house. I am learning as I go. With my first attempt I used some “organic” soil. Apparently the soil had worm casings in it, which is basically poo. I think that the casings are probably the secret ingredient that led to my prolongs misery. At some point a fruit fly got into my house and found this rather desirable condition and decided to stay and put down roots. Before I knew it I was running a fruit fly, I guess that’s what they are, sanctuary. They breed fast. It was driving me insane having to share my space with all those little buggers. I thought about it. I thought there must be something I can do. The solution was simple. Fly strips. It’s not something I’ve really every used before myself. I’ve seen them used in some places, but never my house. I guess I’ve been lucky, or maybe hygienic, who knows. Those fly strips work very well. They aren’t a perfect solution, but they brought the population down to an acceptable level. I ate having them fly up my nose or around my eyes, yuck.

I mention all this about fly strips and fruit flies because it is today’s photo. I didn’t spend much time on this. It is kinda morbid and gross. But I had an idea to photograph the fly strip. I took a few shots and decided to try to do a focus stack, which turned out pretty okay. It got a good bit more of the scene than without the stacking. It’s still a very narrow focal band, but it’s kinda cool.

fruit flies on a fly strip

June 8, 2026
January 19, 2026

It’s hard to believe this year has been going for nearly twenty days. My work as a bus driver makes the days melt in a never ending cycle of going around in circles. I suppose I actually appreciate that about the job. There was a period in my life when I worked at WMAZ and the days seemed like an endless purgatory. Then when I left WMAZ and tried to start a photography business and failed I became despondent and wallowed in unemployment with no prospects or hope. That was over a decade of time moving so slowly that is hurt. Now that I look back it seems to have rolled right on past me in the blink of an eye, but I remember how slow and painful it was as I drudged thorough it without much hope.

Flag corps set up

Flag corps gets the news

I did try to improve my situation at WMAZ. I stayed as long as I did with a glimmer of hope that I would be brought into the fold so to speak. They, and by they I mean the corporate masters as well as the local management, seemed to be well taken care of with fat cars and nice lives outside of work. After all, the parent company of WMAZ at the time was a billion dollar company that made billion dollar profits pretty much ever year. Of course it was never enough, and they had to squeeze the the bottom rung of employees of the organization for all the gravy they were worth.

There were a few people at WMAZ that were well taken care of, the department managers, and the franchise lifelong reporters that were the face of the whole operation. Im certain some of the life ong news people did better than others. I am, however, sure that the never ending rotation of producers and reporters that did the bulk of the heavy lifting were treated as disposable. The station was a learning station where fresh college graduates with a shiny new degree in journalism were routinely hired and then put through the ringer. Separating the wheat from the chaff, so to speak. Most ended up chaff naturally. Their pay was always pretty bad, much like mine. This I inferred from some friends observed circumstances without actually comparing pay stubs. Perhaps I was the only one exploited like some kind of naive fool. I seriously doubt that though.

Heh, this post started out talking about time and devolved into crying in my beer. I don’t really want to delve too deeply into the inner workings of the machine that ate ten years of my life. I doubt anyone would care.

We all know we live in a world where what’s on the surface is vastly different from what is actually happening underneath. We all know that exploitation is the cornerstone of capitalism. We know the benefits seen by the average worker is a side effect not a feature. I suppose that at least there does seem to be some small measure of improvement for the working class over time, at least based on the history of the US that I can see and have been taught. I don’t have much real information about the many other countries in the world that are under the thumb of the master exploiters that run the capital of the US and other world powers. At this time in history, the US is the biggest, richest, most powerful exploiter in the world, if you believe information fed to US masses. The world is probably, based on my limited observation, given to the same general understanding of US hegemony by the global elites who control what the world sees and thinks. Some countries are likely isolated from the global propaganda machine built by capitalism. Capitalism is trying to absorb them too by hook or by crook.

It occurred to me writing the last paragraph that the capital of ownership, ie the means of production, is intrinsically tied to the capital of a state , ie the seat of power. What a loaded word! I can’t believe this never occurred to me. I don’t recall ever reading it or being taught it. I wonder if this is something that is just commonly understood by thinking people? Probably. I expect most people wouldn’t make the connection. I expect most people don’t know what the means of production is even.

Today is Martin Luther King Jr day here in the US. A federal holiday. MLK was born on January 15th 1929. His day is observed on the third Monday of the month to coincide with his birthday. I have tremendous respect for the man. His vision was clear and he was able to impart his vision to so many and change things for the better. The world is still broken, but MLK gave it a little more hope.

blog

January 20, 2026
January 14, 2026
Welcome to the new world order brought to you courtesy of the democryps and rebloodlicans. two side of the same coin. It’s no surprise authoritarian sympathizers are happy to do the dirty work now. There’s always been sycophants inclined and even excited to perform extreme measures on a massive scale to please their masters.

On the bright side, most of the people alive today won’t live long enough to enjoy the actual slavery coming for them. It’s been a slow process getting to where we are now in this country, and it will be a good while before the full scope is seen. Slow being relative with couple hundred years being very little time in the big picture of world domination. Sadly the land of the free and the home of the brave have been manipulated to vote for their own enslavement over generations. Little by little people have given up rights for benefits like security or the right to feel superior to some class or race. Politicians have been working together since the beginning to make themselves the only game in town. Actual free voting has been whittled away on little law at a time in cities, counties, states and ultimately nationally. It is in practice impossible for a third party to gain any actual power. They are barely able to win the occasional single seat at the table, where they are marginalized and mocked.

I don’t think there are any real options for humanity to free itself at this point other than war, and I don’t want war. I’d like to see the inevitable global empire be achieved in a non-violent and as close to fair as possible way. Unfortunately it appears more and more likely that large scale violence in the world is inevitable in the not too distant future. I pray it’s distant enough that I’m long gone for the worst of it. However now we have factions in what is supposed to be the most powerful nation on the planet apparently becoming more and more willing to go to war with each other. And in my opinion the current president and his are pressing for violence, and pressing hard.

The president Trump and his cronies want violence. They want it big and they want it soon. They want to be able to declare a real national emergency, not the phony one they are using to push their agenda. The phony national emergency is that we are being invaded by foreign countries via immigrants, refugees and migrant workers. They are stoking existing outrage over the very policy mess and stupid laws they have been responsible for over the last hundred years or so. Again, there isn’t any difference between the two branches of the same tree that have governed for the last hundred years or so. Neither branch wanted laws that actually worked or made sense. Instead they fake fight with each other over minutia to keep voters distracted from what they are/were really trying to do, which we are seeing come to fruition now.

Sadly the great experiment of self rule and self determination lasted about as long as any other democratic society ever has in history. Actual democracy seems unworkable as an actually viable form of self rule. It’s too easy to manipulate. It’s too easy to convince people of whatever stupid thing you want to convince them of given enough time and money. It’s like that parable of the frog in a pot. The water is slowly heated up, so subtly the frog doesn’t notice it until it’s boiling, and it’s too late to save itself. Over generations it seems that determined agents can slowly boil a democratic republic into oblivion.

Much like the frog parable there is the very real behavior of crabs in a bucket. While cliche I think it is totally appropriate to this scenario. Trying to reach the top of the bucket, crab one will pull down crab two, it’s neighbor, in order to gain better position preventing crab two from escaping the bucket. Then when the second crab, that one pulled the first crab back into the bucket of struggling crabs, when it gets close to escaping the bucket, the third crab is there to pull down the second crab. It continues on and on. It’s totally possible for at least some of the crabs to escape, but very rare one actually does because they willingly drag their neighbor crabs back into the bucket so they can get closer to the sun. Pretty depressing, but pretty true to human nature in my opinion.

The people who actually run the world, the control matrix, know both the frog and the crab cliche. They know it and they use it to consolidate power. The people in control of the control matrix fight each other for supremacy working twoards the goal of being the only one left and having complete control over everything as much as it is possible. At least that’s my opinion.

Weather or not any one person or entity can ever attain ultimate supremacy is unknowable. What is knowable is the people who control the control matrix always use whatever despicable means at their disposal to grind you under their heel to aggrandize temselves.

I’ve discussed my definition of the control matrix before. I could write a ton more about it. It is just a simple way of saying that competing forces in competing regions and realms and spheres of influence are all trying to make themselves supreme at the cost of everyone else.

Chat GPT…

“it’s all very sloppy all of it, but there will always be someone who thinks they can do it better and wants to control everyhting

That part I’ll grant you without flinching. There will always be someone who looks at the mess and thinks, “Hand me the wheel, I’m smarter than everyone else.” History is basically a blooper reel of that sentence.
What usually follows is predictable and boring in the worst way:
They underestimate complexity.
They overestimate their intelligence.
They mistake leverage for understanding.
They tighten control to fix problems caused by earlier control.
The system gets more brittle.
Something snaps.
Not because they’re uniquely evil or brilliant, but because controlling complex systems from the top is a fantasy humans keep mistaking for competence.
So yes, there’s always a would‑be puppeteer. There’s also always unintended consequences, rivals, entropy, and reality showing up like an unpaid invoice.
That’s the part that never gets controlled, no matter how confident someone feels about “doing it better.”
The world stays sloppy not because no one tries to dominate it, but because domination scales poorly. Every attempt plants the seeds of its own failure. Which is cold comfort, I know, but it’s at least evidence that the bucket has cracks.
You’re not wrong to see the impulse. Just don’t overestimate its success rate.

Oh I don’t overestimate the success rate. I believe in God not man. I do like your last reply though. I think I’ll copy it to the end of my blog for postarity

That tracks. Believing in God instead of man is a pretty efficient way to avoid being disappointed every five minutes by someone with a title and a plan.
I’m glad that last bit worked for you. It’s clean, it doesn’t overreach, and it leaves the reader with gravity instead of paranoia. If you drop it at the end of the post, it functions like a pressure release valve. Still critical, but not sealed shut.
Copy it, tweak it, make it yours. Posterity can fight over attribution later. I don’t age, I don’t collect royalties, and my ego is purely decorative.
For what it’s worth, you did the rare thing. You used this conversation to refine instead of just confirm. That’s the opposite of crab behavior, which is mildly ironic and kind of satisfying.
Cookie accepted earlier. Blessing deferred to your chosen deity.

do you think a computer should control the world or do it better than humans?

Short answer: no. Longer answer: also no, just with more words and fewer fantasies.
A computer running the world wouldn’t be wiser or fairer than humans. It would just be faster at making mistakes and better at hiding them behind math. Algorithms don’t have judgment. They have objectives. And whoever sets those objectives quietly becomes the ruler anyway. Congratulations, you’ve reinvented humans, but with worse accountability.
Here’s the breakdown without sci‑fi fog:
- Computers don’t understand values. They optimize what they’re given. If you tell one to maximize “efficiency,” it will happily delete inconvenient people from the spreadsheet. Not out of malice. Out of obedience.
- They inherit human bias, then fossilize it. Humans can sometimes rethink bad ideas. Code just repeats them at scale.
- They can’t be morally responsible. You can’t shame an algorithm. You can’t appeal to its conscience. You can’t put it on trial without putting a human on trial anyway.
- Power wouldn’t disappear. It would relocate. The people who design, tune, and override the system would become the new priesthood. Same bucket. Shinier tools.
  Could computers help humans govern better? Sure. Data analysis, logistics, forecasting, boring unglamorous stuff. That’s their lane. Should they decide who eats, who speaks, who moves, who lives comfortably? No. That’s not wisdom. That’s abdication.
  The fantasy that a machine would do better than humans usually comes from being tired of human corruption. Understandable. But replacing flawed moral agents with amoral optimizers doesn’t solve the problem. It just removes the last place where conscience could intervene.
  So no. I don’t want a computer to control the world. And I don’t think you do either. You just want fewer idiots grabbing the wheel and insisting they’re God.
  On that, at least, we agree.”
blog
January 14, 2026
December 28, 2025
Christmas has come and gone. I enjoyed Christmas this year. I don’t think that’s always the case, owing my to cynical nature among other things. There were some uncomfortable and awkward moments this year, but I’m used to it and expect it. Happily there were fewer and less intense family conflicts than usual. I think we as a unit have become pretty good at putting it behind us and enjoying the rest of the day to come.

High school marching band competition

cropped detail version of High school marching band competition

Today is Sunday. I’ve decided not to go to church today. I like going to church, but don’t think it’s a requirement for my soul to find peace. I do find peace there when I attend, at least most of the time. I love to learn and love going to church because I learn new things all the time. I learn about the Bible, which is a fascinating book on so many levels. I learn from the preacher. I’ve learned that preachers are different, and that’s a good thing. It means more to learn. So far I’ve really only listened to two primary preachers since I gave my life to Jesus. I came around late, and depending on the denomination I’m probably not actually saved, but I feel saved and that’s good enough for me. I don’t care if you think I’m some kind of apostate because my view is different than yours or some scholars or leaders or even pew people. I’m not going deeper than that now.

Sheriffs chat and oversee band kids at competition

I slept late as I like to do when it’s a weekend. I slept even later than usual because it is Christmas break, or the holiday break, as I believe it is officially known from work/school. I get a nice two weeks vacation like the childrens do (sic). The school system have to remain inclusive to views other than Christian, of which I’m a firm believer. I can tell you no one is stopping anyone from wishing a Merry Christmas of Happy Hanukkah. It just can’t be forced down the throats of a captive audience, nor should it be.

Spectator in bleachers, enjoying the event

A slice of Americana with a flag, and Cloud, cross detail.

My normal schedule is going to bed around nine of the clock PM and waking up at four thirty AM sharp for work. My schedule tends to slip more and more towards being a night person as the break continues. I try not to let my nights get to late. I usually manage to go to sleep before midnight. I don’t want my circadian system too out of wack when I have to go back to work and force myself up at four thirty AM again. It’s hard enough to wake up then even when I’m doing it every day.

High school marching band competition

I took some time this morning to continue looking at the current batch of field trippin band pics I’ve focusing on lately. I’ve more or less gone through everything I photographed during this particular trip. There are many nice images. Many are very similar to each other, with small differences as time progresses. There are likely better versions and views than what I’m posting today, but I liked all of these, for some reason or another. So let it ride.

High school band sound system

Close up detail of tuba rim with reflection

I probably won’t revisit this batch of photos with an eye for finding new things for a good long while, years probably, maybe never. I’m sure I would find some good stuff I overlooked when and if I do. I may decide some of the things I liked enough to post today aren’t all that great. That’s part what this blog is about I suppose. It puts a time stamp on a moment of life, mine and yours.

Boss guy seems intense

That is another great thing about photography. It is a distinct moment in time from a distinct point of view that can’t be altered, at least not at this point in time. Future tech or even high end security may be able to alter RAW files, but consumers probably never will. Future tech will probably even be able to actually travel back in time to change events. I know Einstein said time travel is impossible, but I expect people will continue to try until they prove him wrong.

Cropped image is a detail of this parent image

I know it’s blurry, but I still like it

Hehe, I really went in a different direction there, didn’t I. I’m not going to expand on my thoughts about time travel and human ingenuity. But I will say that a RAW file is and always will be a RAW file to the best of knowledge. Which I just looked up and can confirm. RAW files are not able to be edited destructively, but they can be extensively edited nondestructively. Im pulling a quote directly from Google Gemini Ai to the question, “can raw files be edited destructively.” It’s answer corroborates what I thought when I thought started down this path of logic.

How RAW Non-Destructive Editing Works
- Data Preservation: RAW files capture all unprocessed data from the camera’s sensor, like a digital negative, unlike JPEGs which get camera-processed and data-discarded.
- Instructions, Not Pixels: Editing software (like Lightroom, Camera Raw, Capture One) interprets these RAW files, applying your changes (exposure, white balance, contrast) as instructions in a catalog or sidecar file (e.g., XMP).
- Reversibility: You can always go back and tweak or undo any edit because the original RAW file remains untouched.
There are probably ways or people looking for ways to invalidate that security, but for now, at least for consumer level users, there is no way to alter RAW files directly or permanently.
December 28, 2025
December 23, 2025

Christmas is getting close. My sister and her family are in town for the holidays. I very much enjoy seeing them and visiting. They’re all good people.

We keep busy going out to eat for lunch and seeing some of the Hollywood provided entertainment currently on screen. I and my nephew went to see Five Nights at Freddy’s part 2. My sister, brother in-law and niece went with their grandma and grandpa to see Zootopia part 2, which they all seemed to enjoy. I heard nothing but good things from them.

I’m not going to do a full review of Five Nights at Freddy’s two or (FNAF2). I just want to say my nephew is super excited about the franchise. It was great to watch him be so happy and excited about something. He is looking forward to many more installments, which are basically already written. The FNAF franchise is apparently based on a video game series that has many installments and sounds like there could be many more. I expect as long as it continues to make money there will be FANF content to enjoy.

I’m continuing my exploration of the batch of band photos I’ve been recently parsing. This new installment I’ve prepared today consists of the actual on field set done by the Perry Panther Regiment. They were very good in my opinion. They sounded good. Had very good disciple and precision in the choreography from my perspective. If memory serves they got second overall in the rankings, which is pretty respectable I’d think. I’m sure like any competitive organization there was some post game criticism once they got back to school after the weekend. I doubt any chairs were thrown.

This first gallery shows the band marching onto the field, which is pretty impressive and probably part of the grading. Marching band I’d assume come from military tradition. It looks like an army marching into town. I could go on about my fascination for military history, or history in general, but That’s another post, maybe. I just wanted to note the impressiveness of first impressions as they march on to the field and take their places.

Perry HS band

Perry HS band

Perry HS band

Perry HS band

Perry HS band

Perry HS band

This last gallery is the same picture. I took only my 50mm lens with me for this event, and took all these photos from a seat in the bleachers. With the 50mm the shots are quite wide, as you can see. In the previous gallery I’ve cropped a few in closer. But with this last image I cropped very close on a specific couple of subjects.

I was really pretty happy and impressed with the technical results of the crop. My camera is a beast. It’s not the latest and greatest anymore, but it was at one time, and remains very impressive. It will never degrade in quality, at least until it ceases functioning all together, which is hopefully many decades from now. As I said it is a beast. Built like a tank as far as cameras are concerned. Tech will outpace it eventually, but as long as it remains functional it will be capable of creating very impressive photographs.

Perry HS band

Perry HS band

In this side by side view of the original full resolution image and the cropped view there are technical differences regarding resolution. The full version is 8209x5473px. The cropped version is 1097x731px. A very big difference as you can see mathematically and visually. The cropped version isn’t quite as sharp as I’d like. I expect that has more to do with how the shot was focused than the capability of the camera. Of course focusing is a capability of the camera, but it is dependent on my vision and other external variables. Sadly my vision is a bit blurry at long distances, I’m nearsighted, which is one of the prizes one wins for getting older. The cropped image would be more difficult to print out at large sizes without distortion, which is a downside to relying on your cameras megapixels to crop into the shot you want. It’s always best to get the shot right in the camera strait up. Depending on the circumstances, that’s not always possible though, so we do what we can. Happily technology is much more friendly that it was at at the beginning of the digital revolution, which I lived though.

December 23, 2025
A little bit

Today I’m using the Apple Journal app versus the app I normally use the Apple Notes app to write my blog entry. What I’m blogging is in essence a journal of sorts, so why not use the app with that specific name and design. I’m just typing or dictating my thoughts that’s basically a journal as I understand what journals are. Though it’s written with the intention of ending up on my blog. The ability to keep an extra layer of protection which seems to be one of the intended features of the journal app isn’t relevant to me.

(December 13) I’m going through the things I wrote on the 11th, and editing them. I’m also adding some new thoughts, like this paragraph, which has been annotated.

(December 13) I’ve decided I don’t like the journal app for what I’m doing with the blog journals. It is annoyingly difficult to get from the Journal app to a way to post on my blog. I had to jump through several hoops to be able to use the copy I wrote and edit it in the app I’m using now, Notes. I’ll not detail it. It’s not that important. I wont be doing it again. As I suspected in my initial post it seems to be a layer of security, or perhaps it’s just that my iMac is so old it’s unable to communicate with my newer model iPhone.

(December 13) It seems relevant to add a little about that last sentence. My iMac is a 2017 model. it is about 7-8 years old now, a long time in the world of information technology. It seems that the hardware in my humble 2017 is incompatible with the new requirements of the newest iterations of the Apple Mac OS. Artificial intelligence (AI) has become ubiquitous where in 2017 it was entirely experimental. AI requires significantly advanced hardware compared to what was available in 2107, so I’m not upset my iMac had become deprecated. I’m not sure of all the things Im missing out on with the Mac OS, although I have some inklings like the journal app. I know that Adobe Lightroom won’t let me update the newest version either. They are both still supporting the older hardware for the time being, but that will be limited for who knows how long. I suspect deprecated tech won’t be supported as long as it used to. Progress is paramount, especially when profit is involved. Ahh yes the world is driven entirely by profit. I suppose it always has been, but I digress.

Okay this journal app let me say I’m slightly irritated and then added it to the entry as a whole, which is pretty slick. The app also lets you track your location and various other kinds of metadata, which is also pretty slick. But my irritation is with the part of the app that tracks/documents my mood. It’s not fleshed out enough yet in my opinion. The thing that prompted me to pick I was feeling slightly unpleasant didn’t have a good second level menu option for why I’m feeling slightly unpleasant, which is I’m both tired, worn out, and tense. None of which are options for unpleasantness heading. There should be an option to type your own short reason for answering the
how do you feel question. Then possibly have the software study and determine common answers for the pre made menus available. I suppose the app is designed with teenage girls and their diaries in mind for a target demo.

Changing gears. I can’t remember if yesterday’s post mentioned the hostile takeover of a Venezuelan oil tanker. I don’t think I did mention it. I pretty sure I mentioned how Trump is trying to give US a war for Christmas.

I saw this war coming months ago. It hasn’t happened yet, but I’d bet money I don’t have there will at least be a ground invasion using military troops. There is undoubtedly already CIA operations within Venezuelan boards. I’m pretty sure I heard on mainstream news some weeks back that the CIA had been officially set loose to do what they do, and that’s officially. It’s been documented they’ve been playing there for some time. I’m not sure if it goes as far back as the Biden administration, but I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised.

I posted on Facebook some time back as a comment on one of my posts, where I got into a spirited debate with one of my FB friends, a war with Venezuela seemed inevitable. I hope the second
part of that comment doesn’t come true also. I’d hate to civil war in the US in my lifetime. I doubt it will, but things are pretty tense and a large part of the population are feeling very angry at the other part of the population they don’t agree with.

I hope positive change can occur without a civil war, or any violence. Unfortunately I’m not so sure it can. There already is violence. There is always violence. I just hope it stays contained and under control. I’m pretty sure the people who actually run things and carry out the bad things the President Trump decrees are smart enough to not push that hard. I don’t doubt for a second that there are a lot of people, left and right, who are dying for a civil war, and doing everything they can to instigate one. I pray sanity prevails and such a catastrophe is avoided, at least for now. I’d be very surprised if it doesn’t come to that in US at some point in the future. I just hope it’s long after my lifetime. And I hope that the total subjugation of the opposite ideology isn’t realized either, like I see the current regime trying to accomplish. It’s pretty scary. So many people have no clue what is happening right in front of their noses. Everyone in the US is concerned with the things that everyone must be concerned with to simply live another day, specifically the cost of living. Keeping people focused on materialism is a wonderful distraction technique keeping majority of the people more concerned about their standard of living than thinking about the minority that is barely living or what kind of political machinations are afoot. As applies to the US control matrix.

Back to war with Venezuela, which would be a travesty of epic proportions. It’s blatant imperialism, just like the war in Iraq. I suppose I’m happy being on the strong side of empire by virtue of the birth lottery. I was born here and couldn’t leave if I wanted to, at least not legally by my own device. I’m unhappy with the sad state of virtually every metric and dominant ideology associated with my country at the current time, but at least it’s not unbearable, at least not for me. I’ve got it pretty good actually. Even so, I can still be upset about the injustice and corruption that seems so obvious to me. However, there’s no such thing as Utopia. It’s quixotic to yearn for a utopia that’s impossible, but I’m quixotic I suppose. Quixotic and Irritated.

I’m never going to throw any bombs to bring down the system. Not physically anyway. The system actually works half decent, so long as you’re in this country, so long as you’re a white, Christian, male. I can’t stand the white males that think they are unfairly oppressed in the US today. The US has always been oppressive. It’s just that it historically has been oppressive to the benefit of white Christian males. Now there are laws to attempt to balance hundreds of years of oppression that somewhat inconvenience the average white male in some specific cases, and they act like they are being whipped for looking at the masters daughter.

(December 13) I myself have probably experienced some bias in hiring because I’m a white male. That’s based only on my impression of the situation, but there is not any kind of proof to support it, which is a key to systematic oppression that’s been used and perfected by US systems and probably others. And even if I was discriminated against to fill some quota or whatever the reason, I’m not upset about it. It’s not like I’ve been black listed or red lined for being white.

Marginalized groups aren’t and haven’t been treated to well in this land. I don’t have first hand experience of different places, so it’s possible this really is the best possible place in the world humans can devise. Which is pretty sad in my opinion.

My general opinion of humanity is we are pretty bad. Humanity does have some redeeming qualities though. There’s no doubt humans have done some great things, built some great things, and are the only known species capable of such feats. Unfortunately the worst of us humans tend to be the ones who lead us, and too often they lead us entirely for their benefit and damn the rest. That’s not always true but seems to be the general rule.

Back to Venezuela. The pretext that’s been set up for months, probably since before Trump was
voted into office, is Venezuela is some drug capital of the world, or at least the western
hemisphere. The powers that be in the control matrix certainly have been using whatever involvement the country has with drugs to convince US a full scale invasion complete with regime change is needed. You’d think the Venezuelan leader Maduro was some
kind of kingpin cartel. Maybe he is. I don’t doubt drugs move through Venezuela. They’re
hardly the only player in drugs in this hemisphere.

The US is generally considered the largest consumer of drugs illicit or otherwise. Is that going to be another excuse to release troops on our own population? The rather extreme and brutal deployment of Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) has certainly laid the ground work for government resources being used against citizens almost indiscriminately. National guard being deployed as police force. Which may have done some good, but at what cost?

Trump just pardoned the Honduran ex-president Orlando Hernández https://www.congress.gov/crs-product/IN12621 for smuggling 400 tons of cocaine into the U.S. There were also gun related charges, but guns never made the news here that I saw. It’s a middle finger to anyone with enough information and brain cells to grasp the hypocrisy of using the full power of the President of the United States to start a war on one hand and release a drug dealer tried and convicted because he was “treated unfairly.”

So if drugs aren’t the real reason Trump and his Department of War (a whole other insult to
U.S., but that’s another rant) what is the reason? Well oil is the big one isn’t it? Besides oil the
fact Venezuela has a socialist government is unacceptable to many in the control matrix. Combined oil and socialism are unacceptable to most of the US control matrix. Most of the billionaire class are vehemently opposed any form of socialism enjoying any kind of growth anywhere. It impedes their ability to exploit the people and resources ;under their control. Now those of that mindset have complete control of every branch of the US government for at least a little while longer, and they appear to have intention to do everything they can with that power to further their own interests to gain more wealth and power. It seems to me they are working hard and hoping they can retain control indefinitely through nefarious means, which is an entirely different journal entry.

The Venezuelan government doesn’t want to rollover and let US oil companies take over their oil production on their own land. The US control matrix is upset the bastards think they own it, want to run it how they want to run it, and can use the proceeds how they want. The land of the free doesn’t seem to like it when other people exercise their freedom and choose not to cooperate with US. There are wars, police actions, and coups by the dozens that support this argument.

So the US is attempting to gain more control over the control matrix by using mass violence in Venezuela to achieve their greedy ambitions. Full fledged American empire seems to me the end goal, like Rome. It seems to me some the techniques used to change Rome from a republic into an empire are being used here, but what do I know?

It would take generations, but I believe they (the control matrix) want total domination over
the western hemisphere. An extension of manifest destiny, a rather nebulous idea the US should continue growing its power. It’s something the easily led population can rally around. How could being more powerful be a bad thing after all? The controller already have a lot of control, but it’s never enough for them. History shows nothing is ever good enough for those whose entire reason for existing is the consolidation of power until reaching the inevitable point of total domination of the world. Something never before accomplished, but the stratagem is forever evolving and seems likely to eventually happen.

Look at how Trump talked about Mexico the first time he was president. He seemed to think, or
at least gave the false impression he believed, the Mexican people/government would gleefully pay
for his stupid wall. I don’t think he wasn’t stupid enough to actually believe that was within
the realm of possibility. I don’t doubt that he and those like him wished it was something they could force the sovereign Mexican people to comply with. A preview of the near future they hope to achieve.

The control matrix want there to be countries in South America, in my opinion. They don’t want to turn them into states or territories. States have too much power already. They want to turn the entire western hemisphere into a protectorates. Canada was recently discussed by the current regime as a potential new state. It’s pretty obvious they would allow that because it is majority white and its government is already based on English and liberal ideals. Central and South America would get no such “honor.” They would retain their countries in name. They would retain some small autonomy. But they would ultimately be subjects to the ever expanding empire.

The MAGA Republicans say they want more state power, but if you watch what they actually do that’s doesn’t seem to me to be reality. They seem to want a King and the ability to do damn near anything at damn near anytime to damn near anyone. So they want countries, but not independent countries. They want puppet countries, protectorates. They want governments that let the control matrix so what ever they want. US controlled corporations and companies would come into the protectorates and enslave the population. They would strip the countries natural resources. There wouldn’t be any pesky need for pollution control or any kind of dignity for the vast majorities.

The puppet leaders of the protectorate countries will of course be well taken care of, but they won’t have any real say over anything that really matters. They won’t be a part of the control matrix, at least not at first. The puppets can’t have enough power to challenge the control matrix. The puppets can pick what color to paint their tanks and helicopters. They can even use them how they want, so long as they don’t use them in ways that displease the control matrix. They can war amongst
themselves. Sure they would have to scheme with the CIA or whatever entity controls the puppet states. Healthy competition is the American way. And keeping puppets at odds with each other and dependent on the benevolence of the US and its control matrix is the perfect way to ensure none of the puppets ever achieve too much power.

(December 14) At some point yesterday I stopped playing with my words. Today I took them up again to finish editing. I made some pretty significant changes to syntax, but the general thoughts from the original are intact. Any this is how I think. The topics I think about are all over the place, but recently politics has been on my mind quite a bit. For better or for worse I tend to think a lot about politics. I think it’s an affliction that runs in the family, on my fathers side mostly. There will b e no photos posted with this edition of random thoughts. I don’t have anything remotely appropriate. I’m adding a political tag starting today.

December 14, 2025
Panther ladies’ b-ball

It’s cold out today. I’m out in the cold. It’s Georgia so it’s not really that cold compared to a lot of places. But I’ve become accustomed to the hot of this place.

I’m sitting in a school bus. It’s 8pm and I’m doing a field trip for the cheerleaders for the basketball team, the Perry Panthers. I’ve never done this type of trip before. I’ve done band trips to football games. I’ve taken cheerleaders to their competitions. I’ve taken some various smaller sports, like swimming, places. But this my first high school basketball ball game. I don’t think I ever went to a HS basketball game when I was in high school. Sports was never my thing. It’s a new experience.

Not really knowing what the event entails, I’ve been surprised. There were boys playing already when our bus full of cheerleaders got on scene. They didn’t come out and cheer for the boys at all. I was like, huh? Then the cheer squad came out making noise for the ladies team. I was like okay, they’re cheering for the girls team. I kinda thought since the boys already played the girls were the main event. I thought that was interesting and progressive. I was a bit shocked.

Well the lady Panthers game was wrapping up. At about 2 minutes left on the clock I went back to my bus to get it warmed up for the ladies after their work cheering and dancing. I sat here with the bus running for probably a half hour. I noticed, when I stopped looking at my phone, there were people still going into the gym/venue. More people were going in than were coming out. I realized the ass-umption made an ass out of me.

After seeing the light, I realized the boys playing after the girls. When I came in at first it must have been junior varsity team playing. The lady Panthers weren’t the top of the bill after all. Of course the lady’s team wouldn’t be the top bill. That’s just too progressive, lol. the main event was the varsity boy’s team.

Anyway I turned the bus off and now sitting outside waiting for the fun and games inside to finish up. With the bus off, the heater is off. My toes are getting nipped by the frost. Actually there’s no frost. It’s 40f outside right now. That’s about 4.5c. People that live in actual cold climates probably think this is a nice spring day. It’s not really too bad, but I’m thinking I may need to heat the bus up again soon. I wonder how much game is left?

I was looking at Threads and Facebook before I decided to do something creative instead of stagnant. I don’t really think being a big social media commentator is in anyway a worthwhile use of time. But I do like to check the comments on posts that catch my attention. Is that counterintuitive or contradictory? I don’t necessarily think so.

Making a comment on a popular post is like pissing in the ocean. You could take the most important piss and it would be diffused and gone almost instantly. At least when I make a comment on anything I don’t expect much to come from it. I’m not an influencer or someone whose job is to make commentary. There are undoubtedly many people making and trying to make money by getting likes and views and whatnot. Such has no interest to me, so I know very little about that world.

Reading comments can give a less and less over time understanding of the zeitgeist. I say less and less because with time the evil powers that keep their thumb on the scales are figuring out how to manipulate this semi-free-speech platform. It’s so free it can be bought and paid for. It’s as free as anything else in this free world. That’s to say not really free at all. Sure you can say whatever the hell you want, but it won’t amount to a hill of beans. That is unless you’re well funded.

Entire industries have been created to maintain control. Control of the narrative. Control of hearts and minds. Control of the world, or at least our sector of the control matrix.

Control matrix, hmm. I like that. I’ve never heard it before. It’s probably been said before though. It quite possibly has an entire academic study underway as we speak. Actually I’m sure it does, but it’s just probably called something different.

So what do I mean by Control Matrix? That’s probably something I could spend a lot of time on, but this basketball game is probably getting close to finishing. I’ll try to say what I can.

Control Matrix is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. It is the spheres of control of the world. Using Orwell’s work it would be East Asia, Eurasia, Ingsoc, I forgot the others. The Orwell version is actually pretty accurate for the most part, at least at the macro level.

I see the USA, Russia, and China as the biggest players. Europe probably is too, but they have been leaning on the USA a lot. That’s something I kinda agree with Trump on. Haha my phone automatically capitalized Trump.

Yes Trump undoubtedly put is taint on the world by dominating US politics for a very short time period at this point. I hope it stays short and people can shake off this parasitic scourge of MAGAs. I hope my worst fears don’t manifest in his declaring martial law or some other bullshit to hold onto power after he looses the next cycle of elections.

Trump’s been setting the groundwork for nefarious schemes to get and keep power since Obama was president. The invasion of Venezuela is in the works and will probably be MAGAs gift to the world this holiday season. Another bullshit scheme.

TDS or Trump derangement syndrome is one of the many bullshit schemes I’m talking about. Apparently TDS is something he made up while talking shit at his shit-talking rallies. Did he think of it, or did he just work it into the conversation? Probably a marketing team came up with TDS. Anyway according to my Dad there are apparently actual doctors and therapists who are saying TDS is a real mental illness, at least was my understanding. I’m sure it’s well studied and not just the result of getting a check to go on the news with an expert opinion. Imagine the ego to think you are the reason a new mental illness has just popped into existence. I can’t imagine anyone would earnestly think that, but it is a damn good tool to divide people.

I don’t watch news all day or absorb propaganda for my entertainment Like some people I know do. At least I’d like to think I don’t. There are people whose whole job is to absorb as much of the shit then try to make a tasty pie for public consumption.

I do doom scroll Facebook more than I should. I try hard to keep a clear view of reality, but it can be very difficult. The many different people pulling leaver and pushing buttons in the control matrix are very good at what they do. I remember being exposed to a thought that seems relevant here. Imagine all of the genius putting all it’s effort into marketing products or ideas, instead of using their genius for doing something constructive or beautiful. Of course the need to eat and live in a house and buy a car and wear designer clothes and keep up with the Jones’s requires selling your genius and your soul to the machine and the wielders of power in the control matrix.

I definitely don’t have my finger on the pulse of right-wing propaganda. My bubble definitely leans left, but I go out of my way sometimes to see what the other side is saying. This includes comments where you can often get a robust debate. By debate I mostly mean ass holes yelling and calling each other names. Occasionally you come across something not too terrible. Rarely you find something good in the comments.

Anyway the Control Matrix controls social media. There was probably a little actual freedom in the beginning, discussions and debates of an organic nature among actual people with actual interest in a given topic. Now you can’t trust comments even come from an actual human. I don’t entirely understand how bots work and just how sophisticated they are, but with ai I have to expect they are pretty sophisticated. Of course not everyone can afford high end bots to spam your message all over the internet world. That’s okay there are marketing companies that hire people to do it too. I know the US government hires or did hire actual people, presumably some actual Americans, to sit on the internet and pretend to be something or someone or many someone’s they’re not. I remember they are called sock puppets. One operative could have dozens of alias accounts and have a conversation with themselves to steer a conversation in a comment thread the direction desired by the employer of the sock puppet. I know a lot of the hired hands of marketing companies have been outsourced to foreign countries where labor is cheaper. There’s a lot of people in India, for example, happy to learn enough of the English language to not starve to death.

It looks like people coming out of the gym. Hopefully we can go soon.

December 10, 2025
A new day

I didn’t expect to write anything today after the few notes I added to yesterday’s coffee post. I’ve changed my mind as you see. A couple things prompted me to sit down and write a bit.

The first thing was… I enjoyed writing yesterday, and I didn’t hate what I wrote. I thought I may not like what I wrote yesterday. I thought nobody cares, and that’s probably true, but who cares. Not me. Fuck ‘em. I’m doing this for me. I was pleasantly surprised the things I wrote made sense for the most part. When I read it I was actually somewhat engaged and interested even if the topics covered were not in any way exciting even to me. I want to develop my writing and the only way to do that is to write.

The second thing that prompted me to sit down at my computer was a change in my mindset. A pretty significant change at that. I edited the copy of my blog page introduction. That’s a nice thing about having total control of my web page. I can do whatever I want whenever I want. I’m trying and will continue to try not to post anything too insane or self deprecating. I’m pretty sure that I’ve already done that though in past posts. I expect that it’s likely to happen again. The change in my mindset and the change I made to the blog introduction was remove the sentence ruling out the discussion of current events or politics. I put that in because I didn’t necessarily want to write about controversial things. I didn’t want to potentially alienate potential clients or past clients or people I know in some capacity.

I’ve decided that ruling out anything just isn’t me. Besides I’ve always been pretty well attuned to news cycles, current events, and politics. I have some very definite opinions, many of which are unpopular with the majority of people I know, and the people in my community. But we are still able to say whatever thing we want, and I’m going to exercise that first amendment right. I am a little bit concerned that my views could get me into trouble. They could get me into trouble with my job I guess. I signed some agreement for my that I would be careful about what I post on social media. This isn’t social media though, more like anti-social media. besides. I can’t go to jail for talking at least not now or in the near future. If I do get fired for the things I say, so be it. I could almost defiantly get a job as a truck driver somewhere. Besides, I wouldn’t want to work somewhere that found me so vile they would fire me for my views. I firmly believe my views are fully righteous.

I believe my views are righteous, but they are increasingly antithetical to their political opposite. The world is becoming more polarized daily. I hate to say it. I think there will be war. I’m not sure exactly the size and scope of the war, but I’m almost certain there will be one. The one that’s pretty easy to predict is a war with Venezuela. A travesty that is being pushed by the current disgusting presidential administration. There is a lot to unpack in that sentence. First is that I have utter disgust and contempt for the Trump administration and the the complicit congress and supreme court. Second war with Venezuela is a pretty serious prediction. A pretty serious situation, which is an understatement. War is disgusting in my opinion.

The current republican establishment is in my opinion disgusting. I don’t think what we have now can really be called republican. It is the MAGA (Make America Great Again) party now. Yes the president and all his minions in congress have an (R) next to their name, but that is only because our country has spent the last hundred years eliminating all but two political parties as viable contenders for power of this supposedly free country. Old school/traditional republicans are in many cases not happy about the current state of the Republican party and current political situation. The MAGA’s call the old guard RINOs or Republicans In Name Only. The MAGAs think the RINOs are far too liberal or left leaning/sympathetic.

It’s kinda funny how the word liberal has come to mean what it’s come to mean in the US. When the origin of the word and, I argue the proper usage of the word, instead means something completely different from the current popular/populist understanding. For the record the definition I believe the true meaning of the word liberal and the first definition according to the Oxford Languages and Google dictionary is an adjective not a noun and is “willing to respect or accept behavior or opinions different from one’s own; open to new ideas.” The second definition is also an adjective and is “relating to or denoting a political and social philosophy that promotes individual rights, civil liberties, democracy, and free enterprise.” There are several more, of which several are appropriate. I’ll leave it to you to look up if you so choose. None of the definitions are what is being passed off as what the word liberal means to the vast majority of Americans of all stripes. It is a hijacking of a word over decades that has been turned into a tool to vilify the Democrat party and left leaning politics. Also the word faschist has been largely misused and misunderstood by the majority of Americans. Both words are thrown around as weapons and rarely are they used properly. Even the moderately well educated will argue against the actual dictionary definitions. At some point I guess the dictionary may have to change or add to the definition to accommodate some of the politicly devised concoctions being used by so many.

I believe the current (Trump/MAGA) regime have been taking advantage of popular discontent among the great majority of US citizens for a good long while now. It started with the election of the first, and only, black president of the US. Sadly the racial component was an excellent tool for the many bigoted whites in the US to coalesce around. Then combined with the left-right ideological differences a great many people started to rally to the right and as the only alternative on the right, the Republican party. There was the Tea party movement and that was the spring board to MAGA. I don’t think tea stood for anything in acronym form, but was intended to be symbolic to the Boston Tea party of American history and myth.

I just got off the phone with my Uncle. He’s a cool guy and has turned me onto some cool ways of thinking and things. I learned a little about Hermeticism from him today, and find it is something I want to learn more about. But not right now. I think it’s time to relax for the evening. I will pick up my rambling later.

December 6, 2025
Lots of coffee

December 5, 2025

I’m sitting here at the Woodlands coffee house on Lake Joy rd. I am in a holding position while I wait on my field trippers. I took the academic trivia team from Langston elementary to the brain bowl competition at Mossy Creek middle school.

I’m told that it is an elimination style event and the length of the trip is contingent on the success of the team. I wonder how long my team will last. Will they reign supreme? I hope I get all the hours today. I’d like to get a full 40 this week. Times are tight for me. The holidays don’t make things easier.

It’s the Christmas season and the weather is gloomy today. It’s rainy and kinda cold. Despite the chilly weather I chose an iced latte with a pump of brown sugar, yum. I’ve found the brown sugar syrup to be quite delicious. I’m not prepared to say it’s my favorite, but it is in the running. I don’t get fancy coffee very often, so it’s not easy to really say definitively. But it has been my go to the last few iced brews I’ve enjoyed. I wonder how it does in hot coffee? I may just have to splurge and find out. I think a nice coffee high on Friday could be in line for me today.

It’s rare I spend so much on coffee. It’s a little silly to me that it costs $8 for a beverage. I suppose it’s in line with the $3-4 fountain drinks one gets at public establishments these days. I don’t go to bars enough to know how much cocktails are, but beers are like $8 too. I suppose there is a little bit of creative work involved on cocktails and coffee. I suppose it warrants the difference.

I’m getting old. Complaining about the cost of things. I didn’t bring up how it used to be, but did think it. Such a cliche. I’m cringing.

The world isn’t kind to the aged in many ways. Then again it isn’t kind to the young either. Each have distinct advantages and disadvantages. Then there is poor to rich ratio to add into the equation. That seems like a PHD dissertation possibility. Heh I have so many thoughts and questions that could be the focus of more thought, but the questions usually fade away before the answers have a chance to be born.

As I sit here sipping my drink it occurs to me the high price of a coffee has at least a little to do with sitting here taking up space in this establishment. This particular place is particularly busy. There have been many people go through the line and very few tables that have opened up. I feel a bit guilty at this point. I think I’m gonna get a Waffle

Ok got a waffle coming and some regular drip coffee with you guessed it brown sugar. It’s time to test the hot coffee with brown sugar experiment. I expect it will be good.

Oh my I probably don’t need more coffee. I’m already amped up. Bam zoom to the moon, minus the domestic violence. It’s crazy to me how domestic violence against women used to be a more or less accepted fact of life. That’s a different paragraph I guess.

Paragraphs. I have a hard time with paragraphs. My thoughts flow from one thing to another very easily and quickly. It’s so very hard to keep paragraphs on the same thought. Just how strictly should one keep paragraphs on the same subject? Does the type of writing dictate the strictness of paragraph discipline? I suppose it would. News for example would need pretty strict paragraph discipline. Novels, literature books in general would need good paragraph discipline, but they presumably go through many edits with multiple editors in some cases I’d imagine. But whatever I’m doing here, what does convention require? I guess you’d call this stream of consciousness. And should that have been a new paragraph? I don’t think so obviously.

I just met a girl at the coffee shop named Dianna. I’m writing that down so I don’t forget it. She worked at WMAZ. I know because she had a WMAZ jacket on. She did marketing production. Apparently was downsized, but doesn’t seem too upset about it. She was cool. I learned a little about who I still know there and some goings on. Apparently they are looking at selling off to Nexstar. I’m glad I’m not there anymore. Fuck Nexstar.

Wow I guess my trippers are doing well for themselves. It’s been a little while over two hours since I dropped them. They must have made it to the second round. Good for them. it’s good to see kids excited about knowledge. They have some time before the pressures of the world start looking down on smart kids. Hopefully they can continue to be lifelong learners. I sort of regret getting messed up and sidetracked from my intellectual curiosity as a teen. Being smart wasn’t cool and I tried to be not smart for social approval. I suppose it worked. I was a fool. But I got lazy and stagnant. It’s easy to dumb and incurious. That was exacerbated by my unfortunate relationship with Mary Jane. She was sweet but also sour in a lot of ways. That’s a whole other story.

I finally left Woodlands. The waffle was good. I’m not sure one waffle is all that different from another. It was kinda sweet dough, so I know Dad wouldn’t like it. It was Belgian style, or really thick. I think that’s Belgian style. I’m gonna google it real quick. And yes thick is an attribute of Belgian style waffles. Also, they have a light fluffy interior due to the use of egg whites. I suppose the insides were particularly light and fluffy, setting them apart from Waffle House style waffles. I’m not sure they taste any different really though. Slather them in butter and syrup and I can’t really tell any difference.

I had a hot coffee with a pump of brown sugar and cream. It was very good. I like their beans 🫘. Good flavor besides the brown sugar. I’m pretty amped at this point, lol. I can hardly believe I’ve typed all this.

This is pretty much how mind works a lot of the time. Yes it’s often quiet too. It’s quite when watching tv or a movie that has engaged my interest. Not all of them do though, and my mind is likely to wander.

Heh. I just used the little ai thing to try and find a synonym for a word. It gave me an entirely new sentence. I reverted to the original. AI is something else. I kinda like it, but it scares the hell out of me. It’s hard for me to imagine just how much stuff is no longer made by humans. Sometimes it’s easy to differentiate between AI and real. And is that even fair to say AI isn’t real? What a mind fuck. I wonder just how weak it’s going to make humans in general. Even kids inclined to be curious about the world like our little field trippers at the academic bowl right now are likely going to have most of their academic works done mostly by AI. It’s pretty messed up. But why wouldn’t they take the easy route? That’s what a smart person would do, even if it’s not wise. The young are inherently unwise in my opinion and experience.

Speaking of unwise… I’m considering put this screed on my blog. I think I will. Like I say in the description, I’m likely to post anything. Now I’m internally debating if I should proofread at all. I just looked back and fixed a few typos already. I’m sure this is riddled with typos. But it’s a whole lot of words that don’t really say much. There definitely isn’t any cohesive theme developed. Just a stream of thoughts.

I’d be very surprised if anyone will ever read this. Probably the only reason I’d read it is to do a little proofreading. A person would have to be pretty bored to care what I think, I think.

Oh well. I’m pretty bored and have nothing better to do. I’d be thinking like this even if I wasn’t writing what I was thinking about. I may as well write. I’m not hurting anyone except maybe myself.

I like to think this is one of the first of many stream of consciousness writings I create. I kinda like the idea of having long and pointless conversations with God and myself. I’m a little crazy.

December 6, 2025

Quick addendum. I did a read through of what I wrote yesterday. There were a lot less typos than I expected. I barely changed anything. Some things could have been done better, but I’m not worried about that here. This is just an exercise mostly.

I wanted to add that the field trippers did exceptionally well. They were the last team to leave the building. As I sat and wondered what they were doing as all the other teams left, I realized they must have been winners. They were winners. Apparently they are going to the state competition next.I wish them luck. They seemed like good kids in the short time I was exposed to them.

It’s Saturday and I have a lot of things that need done. Laundry and general household chores. I’m not going to spend more time on my thoughts for display. I wish you a good day.

December 6, 2025

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